Maybe I Should Just Believe The Label


Or . . . There’s a reason for expiration dates.

Yesterday I was craving a milkshake like it’s nobody’s business.  Being lactose intolerant, that usually involves all sorts of logistical planning my schedule just didn’t allow.  That is until I was going through my travel bag and found some Lactaid.  Sure it expired July of 2006 but how bad could it really be?  If anything it doesn’t work.

But I was wrong, horribly wrong.  A couple of hours later a pain developed in my belly that made me double over at my desk.  It in a very specific place and when I pointed this out to my co-worker sitting next to me, she used her Porter Chester medical assistant school experience to diagnose it as just gas adding that if I had to let it out, please be kind enough to either get up or give her a heads up.  But this was no gas bubble.

Finally, I put my phone on personal time and decided I needed to walk it off.  I hit the far hallway outside the call center floor (where there is almost no traffic at night) and proceeded to pace.  But no sooner had I begun walking then I felt my mouth get wet, my stomach pain intensify and I knew what was coming.  I broke out into a run, hand over mouth, straight into the men’s bathroom and began to retch so violently and in such copious amounts that I was almost sure I had done permanent damage.

I felt better almost immediately and was able to finish the night and go home a little hungry.  Why do I blog about this you may ask?  First, just to serve as an example of why you should mind OTC expiration dates.  The main reason though is because it was the second time in amost 9 years that I have thrown up (The other time being the first time I smelled a lower GI bleed.).  I’ve been really drunk, seen and smelled things while working in an ER that may require minor therapy but didn’t lose it.  So it’s an event.

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